Film Fetish News

Randy:
There are certain RULES that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie.

For instance, number one: you can never have sex.

[crowd boos]

BIG NO NO! BIG NO NO! Sex equals death, okay?

Number two: you can never drink or do drugs.

[crowd cheers and raises their bottles]

The sin factor! It’s a sin. It’s an extension of number one.

And number three: never, ever, ever under any circumstances say, “I’ll be right back.” Because you won’t be back.

Stu:
I’m gettin’ another beer, you want one?

Randy:
Yeah, sure.

Stu:
I’ll be right back!